


oh, those summer (salt) nights

by you_get_to_exhale_now_cyrus



Category: Andi Mack (TV)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, It starts sad, M/M, but then it's better, post 3x13 fic to make you feel better
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-02
Updated: 2019-03-02
Packaged: 2019-11-08 08:04:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,095
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17977493
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/you_get_to_exhale_now_cyrus/pseuds/you_get_to_exhale_now_cyrus
Summary: After the disaster that was costume day, TJ tries to go and mend his relationship with Cyrus.





	oh, those summer (salt) nights

_TJ,_

_I’m not mad that you picked to dress up with Kira instead of me, so please don’t think that I am. I totally get it, you know? Kira’s really athletic, and pretty, and kind of nice, if you look at her in the right light. And you guys can play basketball together and all that jazz. Which is fine, really._

_I’m not mad. I just feel a little stupid, you know? Well, not a little, I actually feel like a complete idiot. I guess I thought that maybe we had something special? And if not special, then at least maybe just something in general. I thought that maybe you liked being my friend and hanging out with me, at least from my perspective. I always thought that maybe us hanging out was fun for the both of us, and that we were important to one another. For the record, you’re still really important to me._

_I guess I just thought that I was important to you. That I mattered in one sense or another. That maybe, just maybe, I was worth something to you. It sounds kind of melodramatic now that I’m writing it. Anyways, I guess I always knew that deep down, this was a bit of a one-sided ‘relationship’, if you will. I mean, I should have been grateful that you were even talking to me, let alone confiding in me for help and things like that. And I let myself believe that things were different between us. And yeah, even though I still had that lingering thought of doubt, I tried to push that aside. And slowly, I started to genuinely believe that you liked being around me and that you valued me as a friend._

_I guess what I’m trying to say, or ask, is…why wasn’t I enough for you? Am I really not important to you? Do you consider us friends? I feel like such an idiot for thinking that what we had was actually real. I’m sorry for not being enough for you. I’m sorry for thinking that I was important and that you cared about me. I’m sorry for being this dork that’s just a bother to you. I swear I’ll leave you alone if that’s what you want. Thanks for making me feel at least a little special for a while._

_\- Cyrus_

TJ clenched the letter in his hands, feeling like he was choking on tears as he walked down the street. He must have read the letter a thousand times. He memorized where the words were blurred with little splotches of water when he first got the letter. He’d run his fingers along the curves of the letters with a shaky finger. He’d never felt so awful in his entire life.

Absentmindedly, he ended up near Cyrus’ house. He always came over on the weekends, but he hadn’t done that for the last weekend, or even the one before that. He felt miserable all the time; he’d been cutting back from doing things. Last week, he skipped all his basketball practices. He hadn’t gone to tutoring for the past few days. He didn’t eat breakfast this morning because he felt sick to his stomach. All he wanted to do was tell Cyrus how sorry he was.

Believe him, he’d tried. He called, texted, emailed, and even tried to tape notes to his locker, but to no avail. Cyrus always turned away and tagged on to the nearest person, walking with them. TJ couldn’t blame him, though.

He folded the letter again on its creases, pressing it into his pocket as he made his way down the driveway of Cyrus’ house. He hesitated before knocking, which wasn’t something he usually did. Cyrus’ parents usually left the door unlocked for him, since they knew he would come over. He wondered if Cyrus told his parents about this. God, he hoped not.

Soft footsteps could be hear from inside, and TJ said a silent prayer that one of his parents wouldn’t open the door. He heard the door click, and he felt his heart leap into his throat.

Sure enough, Cyrus was standing on the other side of the door. In the split second that they made eye contact, TJ could see just how tired Cyrus looked; it seemed as though he hadn’t slept for days, and he looked like he was about to collapse at any moment. He inhaled sharply, pressing his lips together.

“Hi,” he managed, blinking a few times.

“Hey,” Cyrus replied softly leaning against the doorframe. He sounded so small, and almost afraid; TJ felt like his heart was breaking.

“Can we talk?” he asked, feeling in his pocket where the letter was. He clenched it in his hand, running his fingers along the edges of the creases.

Cyrus shrugged, stepping outside and shutting the door behind him. He took a seat on the bench, and TJ sat on the other side, leaving room between them. He really hated how their relationship had changed over the course of a few short weeks. They both sat in uncomfortable silence for a while, until TJ pulled out the piece of paper from his pocket and unfolded it.

“I got your letter,” he breaks the silence, smoothing out the sheet of paper, “I read it,”

Cyrus nodded, his gaze down at his feet. He wasn’t sure what to say, and he was certain that if he started talking, he’d start crying, and he wouldn’t be able to stop.

“I’m sorry for…everything,” he said lamely, not really knowing where to start, with there being so much to say, “I didn’t want to ditch you for Kira, and I definitely didn’t mean to make you feel like…this,”

Cyrus didn’t say anything for a moment, shutting his eyes and leaning his head back against the bench. “Why’d you do it?” he whispered, swallowing hard, “why’d you leave me for Kira? Was I really just…just not good enough?” His last couple of words were so much softer, filled with so much more disappointment.

TJ sighed, shaking his head, and glancing at the other boy. “No, god, of course not, Cyrus. You’re the most important person in my life,” he tries to assure him, tapping his fingers along the edge of the bench, “it’s just…complicated,”

He scoffed at that, mumbling something under his breath. “It really doesn’t seem like that. If you don’t want to hang out with me anymore, why didn’t you just say so?”

“That’s not true!” he exclaimed, clearing his throat and lowering his voice, “Kira, she…she  told me she was going to say things about me that…I’m not ready for people to know,”

Cyrus brought up his eyebrows, a more confused look on his face than hurt. “What do you mean?”

TJ sighed, closing his eyes. “When we were at the park that first day, didn’t she seem a little…off?”

Cyrus remained quiet, thinking it over. “I mean, I guess a little. Probably because Buffy and I are friends and she has a feud with her,”

TJ shook his head. “It’s not just that,” he admitted, “I was there a few days after that and I was finishing up playing basketball. Naturally she was there too, and she asked me to do a costume with her-”

“-I know that,”

“No, hold on,” TJ cut in, “I told her twice that I couldn’t because I was doing it with you,” he paused, waiting for Cyrus to say something, but when he didn’t, TJ continued. “And then she got…defensive, I guess, or something, and was upset that I’d rather do a costume with you rather than with her,”

“But you barely even know her,” Cyrus mumbled.

“I know. And so I was just…I don’t know, it didn’t sit right with me. So I tried to catch up to her and ask her what she meant by that,” he could feel his voice trembling, just a hair, “and she was wondering why I’d rather do a costume with a boy rather than a girl, and I quote, ‘such as herself’,”

Cyrus glanced up at him, as if to say ‘go on’. TJ really didn’t want to continue; this was the hard part. But he knew he couldn’t keep hurting Cyrus like this.

“She kind of…implied that I was gay,” he mumbled, before adding more, “which wouldn’t have been a _bad_ thing, except that the next thing I told her was ‘so what if I am?’, which wasn’t a wise decision,” he looked at Cyrus, trying to gauge his reaction. He looked sympathetic, and TJ felt at least a little better.

“So then we got in a bit of a…heated conversation about that and then she basically threatened to tell people if I didn’t do the costume with her,”

Cyrus felt his heart sink; he felt awful for thinking that TJ ditched him out of selfish reason. He should have known better. He scooted a little closer and put a hand on the other boy’s knee. “TJ…I’m so sorry,”

But TJ shook his head, blinking a few times. “And I was all dressed up in the beach outfit this morning and I was ready to go, and then I got to school early, hoping I’d get to talk to you about this and explain things, but she was there earlier. And again she was going to tell people so I just…chickened out. I should have told you. I’m sorry. I’m so so sorry, Cyrus,”

Cyrus slung an arm around TJ’s shoulders. “It’s okay, really. I get why you did it. That must’ve been so scary,”

He nodded softly. “I didn’t want people to know yet. I mean, heck I could barely admit it to myself. And when she was talking about you and me…”

“You and me?”

“She…was pointing out how we were always hanging out or always, I guess, being close,” he mumbled, “and…she scared me. A lot. I didn’t want her to tell people. You’re…you’re the first person I’ve told,”

Cyrus smiled reassuringly, taking one of TJ’s hands and lacing it with his own. “I’m really proud of you. Thank you for trusting me enough to tell me,” he said softly, “did she say anything else about us?”

TJ chuckled lightly, glancing at the other boy. “She said we acted like such a couple…even though I told her we weren’t,”

Cyrus’ smile faltered a little bit, shifting his gaze down to his lap. “But what if…what if I want that?”

TJ looked a little confused, but it was more like he wanted to make sure of things before he got his hopes up. “What do you mean?”

Cyrus hesitated a little, brushing his thumb over the other boy’s knuckles. “I want. . I want us to be a couple. A thing. Whatever you want to call it. I want to be able to hold your hand without feeling nervous that you’ll pull away. I want to come up and hug you from behind and surprise you. I want to send you good morning texts with a string of heart emojis,” his voice grew a little softer each time, “I want to be able to kiss you and go on dates,”

TJ was beyond happy listening to Cyrus. With each of his desires, his smile grew wider and wider, and he couldn’t stay still any longer. He pulled the other boy in for a hug, closing his eyes softly.

“You have no idea how long I’ve wanted to hear that,” he whispered, pulling back a little, “I like you so much, you know,” he paused, tilting up the other boy’s head with the hook of his finger under his chin.

“So. . what does this mean for us?” Cyrus asked softly, with a smile that reached his eyes.

“It means…I really want to do all the things you said. Hold hands, go on dates, surprise hugs…kisses,” he adds softer, his cheeks a dusty rose.

Cyrus grins, and before he can stop himself, he presses a quick kiss to TJ’s cheek, smiling all the while. “How about tomorrow? Movie night at my house?”

TJ smiled, but shook his head. “I actually have a better idea,” he said, a mischievous grin on his face.

Cyrus raised his brows. “Oh, really?”

“Since we missed out on the ‘summer’ part of the somersault, I was thinking, maybe we can take a trip to the beach?”

Cyrus lit up, breaking into a huge smile. “I’d love that,”


End file.
